I’ve lived in England for nearly four months. I still remember how I felt when I first saw York, the beautiful city I call home. Everything was just how I imagined it, with quaint buildings and charming people at every turn. I felt like I was living in a dream for the first few months: a dream full of caffeinated hot beverages and constant autumnal weather. What more could girl ask for? I was just becoming familiar with my new home and I loved it.
Then I woke up one morning and everything had shifted just slightly. I started to see cracks in the perfectly placed facades of everywhere and everyone. I started to see the flaws and weaknesses in my surroundings. At first, it was discouraging. I wanted everyone to stay in the neat, little boxes in which I had placed them. When the young people I was working with didn’t act in the way I expected, I became frustrated. I didn’t want this to be hard; I wanted it to be simple, neat and fun.
It’s easy for me to love where I am when people are cooperating with my expectations. It’s much harder when they’re not. People are messy and don’t easily fit into boxes. And it’s so much better that way. It’s easy to vacation for a while, and invest a bit but not get too attached. All the memories are fond and the stories to be told are happy. It’s easy and it’s shallow.
Wading into the mess with people and staying there with them is what makes for deep, meaningful relationships, and in turn, a deep and meaningful life. It’s not easy, it’s not always fun, but it’s so worth it. There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship because there is no such thing as perfect people.
The good news is that we don’t have to be perfect. Our relationships with other people should be a picture of God’s perfect love, not our idea of what love is.
My love is fickle.
My love is impatient.
My love is present when it’s convenient but rarely any other time.
My love has a limit
My love isn’t enough.
But the love of the Father is absolutely enough.
His love meets us where we are.
His love is relentless.
His love is enduring.
His love is sacrificial.
His love is grace.
It’s only after accepting that what I have to offer people here isn’t enough that I can truly start impacting lives. The people around me don’t need my love; they need God’s love. I fail at this everyday, but thankfully He gives more grace.
‘A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.’ John 13:34
‘Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.’ Ephesians 5:1-2
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
BELLA CONES
The Woodlands, TX | 22
PROJECT: York
Bella graduated from Mississippi College with a degree in elementary education. Instead of teaching, she feels the Lord has called her to full time ministry. Her passion is seeing people grow in the Lord.
