With it being Thanksgiving in America a few weeks ago, it was such an appropriate time to give thanks to God for the things or rather ‘thing’ he had been teaching me recently.

This year I am thankful for his love.

About a year and a half ago I lost my Dad. He was in a hiking accident in the northern Indian foothills of the Himalayas. There, he had been trekking between remote villages to minister and share the gospel. As you can imagine and without going into further detail, it broke my heart.

More recently, if I can be completely honest, I’ve been angry. Anyone would say that’s completely understandable or to be expected. I’m suppose to feel angry. Anger in itself is a response to grief. But yet, here I am in England trying to be the love of Christ to broken people and I’m angry? I haven’t been okay with that.

Feeling exhausted by my own frustration, my prayer felt a lot similar to David’s.

“Have compassion on me Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony. I am sick at heart. How long, O Lord, until you restore me? Return, O Lord, and rescue me. Save me because of your unfailing love.” Ps. 6:2-4

Because of your unfailing love. I’m telling you that nothing else was able to break through my anger quite like his love. Because his love is perfect. It is constant, never changing, and unrelenting. Thankfully it is never conditioned by our moods or based off our performance. To God, it’s not a choice to love us, it’s simply who he is. He loves me best and he loved me first. The moment I let his love in was the moment I began to feel not anger but peace and joy from dwelling and delighting in his love.

Spending Time in His Love

For a week long I recited this verse in my head. Throughout my day: during the good times, during the bad times, during the ‘I want to be angry’ times..

“I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.” Song. 7:10

I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me. I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me. I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.

The week I said this over my life is the week which started the shift. Out with the anger and in with his love. And with his love came grace and with his grace came peace. I challenge you to try it. Begin praying what you need to hear. In doing so, like me, you might just start to actually believe it.

Messy Love

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor. 12:9

Up until this point in my life, it’s fair to say I haven’t found it necessary to feel his love in such a powerful way. Yes, I knew he loved me but I’ve never needed to depend on his love quite like I do today. In my weakness, his power has been made perfect. And that has been the power of his love.

Had I never lost my Dad, I never would have experienced the true complexity of his love. It’s not just a love that’s heavenly and divine. God’s love isn’t a clean, untainted love that we get when we want it. No. It’s an undeserving, grace-driven, heart-filled burning desire type of love we get always. It’s a love that is willing to get dirty, which battles through pain. It’s a love that reaches out when walls of anger build up. It’s a love that wins wars over resentment and bitterness. Every time. God’s love gets messy. It sits in the muck and mess with us!

Be Rooted to Bare Fruit

It’s not by chance or coincidence people don’t always understand why we do what we do here. But let’s use this as an opportunity to talk about God’s love that doesn’t always make much sense either–unwavering, undeserving, and gracious.

Because what if people in the Tees Valley knew of a God who loved them through anything? A God who not only wants to meet them right where they are at, but who even delights in doing so. What a revelation that will be. And it’s exactly why everything we do begins with acts of unmerited, sacrificial, relational love.

“May Christ through your faith [actually] dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your hearts! May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love.” Eph. 3:17 amp.